look no pants
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Randomize
