the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
