Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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