I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
