Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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