Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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