Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
