Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
