belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
