God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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