Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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