Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
it's like iHOP with fire
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
