I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
