Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
