I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
MIDGETS
????
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
