Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
