I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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