Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Randomize
