forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
