Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
