He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
