I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
