I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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