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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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