who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize