I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
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After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize