Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
