i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I'm at about main and main street
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
