have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
