maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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