I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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