Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
