Tell her she can't have a vagina
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Randomize
