your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I just forgot I was standing up.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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