I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
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I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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