singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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