is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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