you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
