I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Randomize
