it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize