Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
