Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
