i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
