big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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