Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
