:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
