Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
