I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
