remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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