the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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