Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
