eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
