The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
