is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Randomize
