he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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