No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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