some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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