Buhtt sex?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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