im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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