those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
