school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
