Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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