I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
