Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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