just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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